Sandinista! review

The 4th album from The Clash. I've reviewed several double albums; this is my first triple album. This is over 2 hours long! Still, at least it's The Clash. If there was a triple album of, say, Katy Perry, One Direction, Insane Clown Posse or Justin Bieber.... actually, let's not even go there.

Tracks:

1. The Magnificent Seven: 9/10 The Clash's first rap song is occasionally unfocussed but with another terrific baseline and the mixture of biting humour and compelling storytelling in its lyrics, it's a brilliant opening. .

2. Hitsville U.K.: 9/10 a brilliantly sung and superbly played celebration of the British indie music scene.

3. Junco Partner: 8/10 confusing at times, but mostly a very interesting cover song.

4. Ivan Meets G.I. Joe: 8/10 the Cold War reimagined as a dance contest=Genius.

5. The Leader: 8/10 although under 2 minutes, this manages to pack plenty of entertaining material in and manages not to feel pointless.

6. Something About England: 9/10 a wonderful exploration of the Music Hall genre, this may be far away from the brilliant punk rock The Clash started with but this unique, clever and genuinely moving song still represents The Clash at their best.

7. Rebel Waltz: 8/10 a little weird, but oddly touching despite that and the music itself shows more boundary breaking experimentation.

8. Look Here: 7/10 the experimentation with different musical styles continues to be interesting, although this time the song itself isn't massively compelling.

9. The Crooked Beat: 6/10 not massively entertaining, but rather interesting and unique. A risk that just about pays off.

10. Somebody Got Murdered: 9/10 despite the grim title it's a reassuring song since it shows The Clash we all know and love with their heavy rock awesomeness in a very effective song which is more meaningful than it looks.

11. One More Time: 8/10 not to be confused with the Daft Punk song, this boasts more bleak, angry poetry from The Clash with another interesting baseline.

12. One More Dub: 8/10 a very good dub version, this does actually remind one of the Daft Punk song.

13. Lightning Strikes (Not Once But Twice): 6/10 a bunch of overdone beats and shouty lyrics blended together with the subtlety of a hurricane, this sees The Clash phoning it in somewhat. It's still quite entertaining in some ways though.

14. Up in Heaven (Not Only Here): 8/10 a creative and compelling indictment of capitalism.

15. Corner Soul: 8/10 a bit confusing, although it's still a darn good song.

16. Let's Go Crazy: 8/10 with an intense beat, punchy lyrics and a seamless blend of instruments this one hits with force.

17. If Music Could Talk: 6/10 this is a good song. Unfortunately to realize that you'll need a lyrics sheet since it's impossible to understand. Even then, occasionally the lyrics are too vague so you still might not get it.

18. The Sound of Sinners: 9/10 although it repeats itself quite a lot, it's still a complete blast and has an infectious energy.

19. Police On My Back: 8/10 that amazing intro alone would overshadow any flaws, of which there aren't too many.

20. Midnight Log: 8/10 not one of the most eye-catching ones on the album, but it's got enough clever imagery and catchy moments to make an impression.

21. The Equaliser: 9/10 it may not be particularly loud or different, but it's just a really gripping, entertaining and clever song with a terrific beat. It's quite a bit better than the Denzel Washington thriller of the same name from a couple of years ago.

22. The Call Up: 6/10 a perfectly OK one that's better the second time, although some will find it a bit too quiet.

23. Washington Bullets: 9/10 the weird animal noises at the end aside, this mature, poetic and genuinely powerful meditation on imperialism is a total knockout even though it's one of the quieter songs on the album.

24. Broadway: 4/10 the title of the far superior Led Zeppelin song Ramble On would be appropriate, since that's all this song does until an admittedly interesting throwback to The Guns of Brixton.

25. Lose This Skin: 8/10 if David Lynch did a Clash song, this would be it. It's mad, but mostly in a good way.

26. Charlie Don't Surf: 8/10 more typical Clash material than much of the album, but its clever metaphors and Apocalypse Now reference elevate it.

27. Mensforth Hill: 8/10 Something About England played backwards with overdubs. It's considerably better than it sounds and is a pretty mad track, even if it perhaps functions better as art rather than entertainment.

28. Junkie Slip: 6/10 quite interesting to listen to, although the vocals are a bit too muted and it's not the most enjoyable song on the album.

29. Kingston Advice: 7/10 again, interesting without being one of their more rousing tracks.

30. The Street Parade: 8/10 a refreshingly simple track with plenty of good moments.

31. Version City: 8/10 while the song is essentially just one extended metaphor, it's one that works very well.

32. Living in Fame: 7/10 more art than entertaininment, but this dub remix of If Music Could Talk is better than the actual song.

33. Silicone on Sapphires: 8/10 a self-indulgent but excellent dub remix.

34. Version Pardner: 8/10 ditto.

35. Career Opportunities: 5/10 another audacious experiment, but this re-release of Career Opportunities with children singing it just feels a bit pointless and to be honest a bit annoying too.

36. Shepherd's Delight: 6/10 a decent enough remix of Police and Thieves, nothing special.

Best song: Washington Bullets
Worst song: The Call Up

Summary: A hugely underrated album. This sees The Clash tackle seemingly every musical genre and turn out nearly 2 and a half hours worth of music, so naturally there are some dull moments. On the whole, however, the record is remarkably consistent and endlessly fascinating. Arguably The Clash's Kid A, this is a hugely experimental album, but it's a testament to the band's ability that it's also so ludicrously enjoyable and compelling on every front. Something of a masterpiece which needs to get more attention.



Final rating: 10/10

Aftermath review

The 4th album by The Rolling Stones and the first to feature only Jagger/Richards compositions. I'm reviewing the American version again since the American releases always get the really well-known tracks.

Tracks:

1. Paint it Black: 8/10 although a little overdone for comfort, with its delirious intensity, clever metaphors and unique baseline this always sounds like it's about to go off the rails.

2. Stupid Girl: 5/10 somewhat well-played but the lyrics are dubious and it's not that enjoyable. 

3. Lady Jane: 8/10 a bit sappy but genuinely nice to listen to with an interesting variety of instruments.

4. Under My Thumb: 7/10 the entertaining instrumental manages to distract from the sexist lyrics.

5. Doncha Bother Me: 7/10 not the most memorable song around but a unique-sounding one with a reasonable amount of attitude.

6. Think: 8/10 a well-played and sung track. Solid.

7. Flight 505: 6/10 this doesn't have a lot of charisma or intriguing elements. Still, there's nothing much actually wrong with it.

8. High and Dry: 7/10 not particularly well-mixed but those vocals and instrumental still carry energy many artists just don't have.

9. It's Not Easy: 6/10 meh.

10. I Am Waiting: 8/10 an underrated one, this genuinely makes you feel something and is intelligently subtle.

11. Going Home: 4/10 The End this ain't. Initially the undeniably well-played beats are fun, but it wears off quickly. A repetitive, bland and lyrically lazy 11 minute epic, this is just overlong. If I hear "I'm coming home" one more time...

Best song: Paint it Black
Worst song: Going Home

Summary: This album confirms what I thought before about The Rolling Stones. They're a very talented band indeed; they're just not quite my cup of tea. Personally, I find their music occasionally a bit two-dimensional and samey, but good at the same time. This is a bit of an overrated album since it may have plenty of good moments, but none of these are genuine standouts aside from Paint it Black. Still, the technical skill of this album can't be denied although it doesn't showcase the most interesting song-writing for the Jagger/Richards team. A perfectly good album, but the praise exceeds the product.



Final rating: 7/10

Kid A review

Radiohead completely changed direction with their 4th album. With heavy use of electronic instruments, minimalistic lyrics and a stubborn refusal to follow any kind of expectation, this really isn't like other albums. Despite initially mixed reviews, it's now hailed as one of the best albums of th 2000s.

Tracks:

1. Everything in it's Right Place: 9/10 a crushing, claustrophobic opener that drowns its listener in it's beautifully constructed electronic musical mayhem.

2. Kid A: 9/10 experimental, arty and delirious, this won't be for everyone but as an abstract mood song it's a mini-masterpiece.

3. The National Anthem: 4/10 audacious and well-played but chaotic, screeching and overdone, this one will just give you a headache. Bring the painkillers.

4. How to Disappear Completely: 10/10 a truly chilling and haunting song with amazing vocals from Thom Yorke. Just don't listen to it if you're feeling down.

5. Treefingers: 6/10 a somewhat maligned instrumental, this is kind of boring but does create a certain mood in a very effective manner.

6. Optimistic: 9/10 the most catchy and traditionally entertaining song on the album, with its miserable imagery it's certainly not optimistic but it is still brilliant. Just when you thought it couldn't get any better, suddenly the song starts talking about dinosaurs. Madness.

7. In Limbo: 8/10 a bit dull, but well constructed with an excellent outro.

8. Idioteque: 10/10 who knew such a terrifying apocalyptic nightmare could be so entertaining? Plus, it's the easiest Radiohead song to dance to.

9. Morning Bell: 8/10 although overly stripped back, this is yet another delightfully spine-chilling track.

10. Motion Picture Soundtrack: 9/10 depressing beyond belief, but unbearably moving and unlike The National Anthem it blends its instruments beautifully.

Best song: How to Disappear Completely
Worst song: The National Anthem

Summary: An album which borders on genius. It takes a lot of skill to make an album so alien, experimental and weird so powerful, moving and even entertaining at times. It's not always an album you enjoy, perhaps more one which makes you feel like you're alone in a freezing wasteland in the most wonderfully haunting manner possible. It's not a cheerful listen, but it is surely one of the greatest albums of the 2000s and I admire hugely, although I can't listen to it too often since it's so downbeat.




Final rating: 9/10

The Soft Parade review

Round 4 of The Doors. This is mostly considered their worst studio album with Jim Morrison, but it's The Doors so it can't be that bad.

Tracks:

1. Tell All the People: 6/10 this is a bit dull in many ways, but it's exuberant enough to get a pass.

2. Touch Me: 8/10 far better than the opening track, this song shows The Doors firing on all instrumental cylinders with a brilliant use of brass and strings.

3. Shaman's Blues: 6/10 it's perfectly good but doesn't have enough substance or impact to sustain itself for 5 minutes.

4. Do it: 4/10 half-hearted in every sense, this is the worst Doors song I've reviewed to date.

5. Easy Ride: 5/10 they're trying a tiny bit more here, but in this case by trying they're being really pretentious so things aren't much better.

6. Wild Child: 6/10 the unique and entertaining instrumental keep an otherwise forgettable song afloat.

7. Runnin' Blue: 6/10 this starts well with a tribute to Otis Redding, before becoming very average.

8. Wishful Sinful: 6/10 perfectly OK but nothing memorable at all.

9. The Soft Parade: 6/10 admirably ambitious and it improves considerably towards the end, but what on earth is this song? Who knows? This just doesn't make a hint of sense. Still, the band were apparently tripping while recording this song so that might be why.

Best song: Touch Me
Worst song: Do it

Summary: This is definitely the worst Doors album to date. It's also their most experimental. I love the organ based rock of the earlier albums and nothing was broken so why fix it? Sometimes being really experimental works and sometimes, as is the case here, it doesn't. The instrumental experimentation is good, but not that good, while in terms of the actual songs it feels like they weren't trying. Certainly not a terrible album, but the only truly worthwhile track here is Touch Me.



Final rating: 5/10

Led Zeppelin IV review

One of the biggest, heaviest, best-selling and most legendary rock albums of all time. And it doesn't even have a name! This untitled album, usually known as Led Zeppelin IV, is generally regarded as Led Zeppelin's greatest album and includes some of their signature tunes.

Tracks:

1. Black Dog: 9/10 fantastically entertaining and featuring one brilliant guitar riff after another, this fully deserves its status as one of Led Zeppelin's most well known songs even if it's occasionally a bit confusing.

2. Rock and Roll: 9/10 this one's got very little substance and is all about the style. Blisteringly intense, adrenaline fuelled and brilliantly heavy, this is the closest Led Zeppelin's music has ever come to replicating a war-zone.

3. The Battle of Evermore: 8/10 a delightful folk song which is another enjoyable excursion into the Lord of the Rings universe. Underrated.  

4. Stairway to Heaven: 10/10 it's been overplayed to death, trivialized and I still don't know exactly what the lyrics mean. But, as a musical masterpiece it has few, if any, equals. With amazing lyrics, an ingenious structure and a beyond brilliant instrumental, this euphoric, enthralling and exhilarating magnum opus is one of the most beautiful sounds in the world and one of the best songs I've ever heard. A true stairway to heaven.

5. Misty Mountain Hop: 7/10 the weak link of the album, with a catchy beat and plenty of enthusiasm but on the whole it isn't especially compelling.

6. Four Sticks: 8/10 technically complex and hugely enjoyable, this may get overshadowed by the bigger songs on the album but it's really good and shouldn't be forgotten.

7. Going to California: 9/10 another wonderful folk song which stands tall among Led Zeppelin's discography as one of their most touching songs.

8. When the Levee Breaks: 10/10 this tsunami of a rock song is intense, thrilling and genuinely mesmerising. And that's just the intro. More epic than a Hans Zimmer soundtrack and so entertaining it's utterly ludicrous, this is a true classic.

Best song: Stairway to Heaven
Worst song: Misty Mountain Hop

Summary: All in all, I can't praise this album enough. Led Zeppelin's masterpiece without question, this is more intense than a white-knuckle amusement park attraction and more explosive than a ballistic missile lighting up an oil rig, this is just one of the best albums ever recorded by anyone. The music and lyrics have never been better, and it's an album which just refuses to get old. It's hard to find another an album that's much more accomplished and ridiculously entertaining than this, since all involved are at the top of their game and it truly has some of Led Zeppelin's finest material all in one place.



Final rating: 10/10

Loaded review

Loaded is the 4th album by The Velvet Underground, and the last to feature any of its founding members. Lou Reed, disillusioned with the band and it's distance from the more experimental music the group started out with, left the group shortly afterwards. This album is supposed to be more commercial, but despite this change in direction it was still critically acclaimed.

Tracks:

1. Who Loves the Sun: 7/10 perfectly pleasant and pretty catchy, though considerably less impressive than some of the earlier and more experimental stuff.

2. Sweet Jane: 7/10 a Velvet Underground song which gets a lot of airplay, it is a shame that one of the most well-known VU songs is one which doesn't represent the band at their best due to its simplicity, but it's undeniably a good mix of the VU's arty experimentation and a more commercial sound. 

3. Rock & Roll: 8/10 the right mixture of art and entertainment.

4. Cool it Down: 7/10 repetitive but pretty enjoyable and despite its more commercial sound it doesn't feel like the band has lost its identity.

5. New Age: 7/10 quite good, if a bit empty.

6. Head Held High: 5/10 while it is catchy, this doesn't feel like The Velvet Underground at all. It feels like some generic, derivative rock band playing vaguely Velvet Underground-type baselines.

7. Lonesome Cowboy Bill: 4/10 a painfully forgettable song featuring one of the blandest song characters of them all.

8. I Found a Reason: 7/10 quiet in a good way with some nice harmonies, but again a bit flat.

9. Train Round the Bend: 6/10 the baseline sounds more like the band in their earlier albums, but where's all the nihilism and insanity?

10. Oh! Sweet Nuthin': 7/10 while overlong, this feels more like The Velvet Underground and is a more effective and interesting song.

Best song: Rock & Roll
Worst song: Lonesome Cowboy Bill

Summary: Quite clearly the beginning of the end for The Velvet Underground. I'm not the biggest VU fan, but I admire them. While I've given many of their songs a 7, it's usually been a high 7. I like the experimental nature of their music, even if it isn't always that enjoyable to listen to. By jettisoning that, this feels like VU in name only, and quickly devolves into ruthlessly forgettable formula. It's too well played and exceeds expectations of what may have been a complete disaster too much for the album to be written off, but it's critical acclaim is bemusing. Maybe stick to the first 3 albums.




Final rating: 6/10

The Eminem Show review

Slim Shady's next foul mouthed epic. The best-selling album of 2002 in the United States, this is also often regarded as Eminem's finest album and includes some killer tracks.

Tracks:

1. Curtain's Up (Skit): 8/10 Eminem's literal entrance (The skit is an audio clip of the curtain rising, applause and Eminem walking onto the stage) is an interesting start, and a break from previous intros where he just told us how he just wants to offend everyone when we already know that.

2. White America: 6/10 quite clever and shows admirable restraint, but it's not as entertaining or badass as many of Eminem's other songs.

3. Business: 8/10 formulaic, but it's pretty funny and is the perfect piece of evidence for why you never ever get into a feud with Eminem (Unless you love being insulted in the most biting, cruelly hilarious way imaginable).

4. Cleanin' Out My Closet: 9/10 sheer poetry.

5. Square Dance: 9/10 the Eminem formula has been refined. Previous tracks were hilarious yet lowed with fury and this does as well, but there's more restraint, maturity and emotional punch.

6. The Kiss (Skit): 8/10 not one of the funniest skits, but one of the most interesting and this one feels like it has a point since the story continues in later tracks.

7. Soldier: 9/10 brutal and breathless, this refuses to hold back or slow down the musical carnage. And that's a great thing.

8. Say Goodbye to Hollywood: 10/10 The Eminem Show continues to be possibly the coolest autobiography of all time.

9. Drips: 6/10 on one hand, the rhymes are clever and it has lots of attitude. On the other hand, it's very, very vulgar and bit on the ugly side.

10. Without Me: 9/10 yes there have been loads of tunes which seem to be the perfect musical representations of a middle finger sticking up from Eminem before, but few have been such a knockout. A classic.

11. Paul Rosenberg (Skit): 6/10 a bit pointless, but perfectly decent.

12. Sing For the Moment: 9/10 it covers familiar themes, but does so with a lot of heart. The sampling of Aerosmith's Dream On is particularly effective.

13. Superman: 6/10 well-written up to a point and audacious, but ugly.

14. Hailie's Song: 9/10 deeply touching and honesty reverberates through every single lyric. If Eminem didn't start randomly ranting about his ex-wife in the last verse it'd be a 10.

15. Steve Berman (Skit): 8/10 short and simplistic, but hilarious.

16. When the Music Stops: 8/10 a bit confusing at times, but it's lyrical art and guest rappers D12 do a great job.

17. Say What You Say: 8/10 it's been seen before, but a repeat of all this brilliance is never a bad thing.

18. 'Till I Collapse: 10/10 intense, ferocious, electrifying and masterful, this electric shocker of a song offers a listening experience akin to being shot with 8 different Tasers while standing in a torrential downpour.

19. My Dad's Gone Crazy: 8/10 there's a bit too much swearing here, but it's still an effective enough tune. Hailie has an entertaining guest appearance on this track.

20. Curtains Close (Skit): 5/10 slightly amusing but it's an anti-climax overall.

Best song: 'Till I Collapse
Worst song: Drips (Or Curtains Close, but that's a skit)

Summary: Eminem's best work. When he said "It'd be so empty without me" he was really onto something. His most lyrically compelling, powerful, artistic and fiendishly entertaining work yet, this truly is his masterpiece. It's less of an acquired taste this time and the tone is better judged. Brutal and brilliant, this contains some of the best songs Eminem has ever done and the skits are consistently good as well. A 5 star album. And I rarely give full marks.



Final rating: 10/10

More review

Who doesn't love a good Pink Floyd album? This is their third, a soundtrack to the 1969 film More and their first without Syd Barrett.

Tracks:

1. Cirrus Minor: 8/10 a gentle, touching if overly restrained opener to the album. I don't know what all the random bird sounds are about but they only heighten the delightfully weird atmosphere.

2. The Nile Song: 5/10 Pink Floyd play well but lose their identity with this generic, woefully overdone rock song. David Gilmour, rather than singing the song, screams his way through the song like Shia Labeouf in Transformers.

3. Crying Song: 7/10 this never hits a peak, but that's effective in many ways and contributes to it being such an enjoyable understated and relaxing song.

4. Up the Khyber: 8/10 Nick Mason and Rick Wright, the 2 lesser known Pink Floyd members, get their chance to shine with this thoroughly enjoyable drum/piano instrumental.

5. Green is the Colour: 7/10 a perfectly pleasant and gleefully enigmatic, if slightly underwhelming, tune.

6. Cymbaline: 7/10 a well rendered dream, but not effective enough to become a nightmare.

7. Party Sequence: 4/10 hitting with the impact of a feather against iron, this really feels pretty half-hearted.

8. Main Theme: 8/10 a main theme to be proud of. If it's not standout Pink Floyd material, it's a very fine instrumental with typically captivating psychedelic aural art from Pink Floyd.

9. Ibiza Bar: 6/10 another heavy one, but it's thankfully a bit less annoying this time.

10. More Blues: 6/10 a good instrumental, even if it is essentially just a load of well played guitar chords.

11. Quicksilver: 7/10 too long, but it's an effective experimental piece consisting of multiple artfully constructed peaks.

12. A Spanish Piece: 4/10 pretty weak and too short to be memorable in any way, shape or form.

13. Dramatic Theme: 7/10 'Dramatic' might not be the word, but this is an interesting and more than adequate closer for the album.

Best song: Main Theme
Worst song: Party Sequence

Summary: The weakest Pink Floyd album so far, but that's not saying a lot. As albums go, it's perfectly acceptable. It's reasonably diverse, as well played as ever and has many stirring moments. When it is weaker, since many of the songs are just meant to be background music or short instrumentals it's not bad in the same way other albums are bad. At the times where Pink Floyd just don't seem to be trying, however, or when they abruptly switch to Nirvana level heaviness, it does get annoying. A perfectly good album, but certainly not Pink Floyd at their finest.




Final rating: 7/10

Little Deuce Coupe review

The fourth album by The Beach Boys. This car themed album contains 3 songs from previous albums and was released only a month after their last album. That doesn't give me a great feeling about this album.

Tracks:

1. Little Deuce Coupe: 7/10 this one appeared on their previous album. It's fairly forgettable, but it has plenty of charm to spare.

2. Ballad of Ole' Betsy: 7/10 at first it seems like a love song, then you realize it's actually about a car. It's confusing, but very nice to listen to and shows off some great harmonizing.

3. Be True to Your School: 7/10 this leans heavily on its wonderful tune to distract listeners from its lack of substance.

4. Crazy Car Cutie: 7/10 in some ways ditto, but this one's too catchy to dismiss.

5. Cherry, Cherry Coupe: 6/10 overly sugary but fun.

6. 409: 5/10 out of all the songs they used from previous albums, they had to use this bland track from their actually kind of weak first album!

7. Shut Down: 6/10 a perfectly nice car song previously seen on another album. It's not that striking but I like it. It's a high 6.

8. Spirit of America: 5/10 it's got lovely harmonies and stuff, but we've heard The Beach Boys' great vocals so many times now that they can no longer carry a weak song. Enough about cars now!

9. Our Car Club: 7/10 a slightly better one. When this song was heard on Surfer Girl, it was good fun. When heard on this album was its over-saturation of car-themed songs it's less appealing.

10. No-Go Showboat: 4/10 oh for crying out loud!

11. A Young Man is Gone: 8/10 sparse, beautifully sung and haunting, this finally gets the album going but a bit too late unfortunately.

12. Custom Machine: 4/10 this wretched custom machine can go flying off a cliff!

Best song: A Young Man is Gone
Worst song: No-Go Showboat

Summary: I did say I had a bad feeling about this album and I was right. To be fair, it started off alright but then went downhill very quickly. With repetitive, monotonous lyrics, too much reliance on the harmonies to excuse the lack of originality and too- many- darn- cars this is one fairly weak road trip. It's not actively bad, but it's the worst Beach Boys album yet. All in all, this is just a whole load of artificial car porn. It's barely a 5.



Final rating: 5/10

Joy Division: Ranking their songs

Joy Division could be the most depressing musical artist of all time. They're not depressing as in Radiohead depressing; their songs will crush your soul. They are widely liked, so apparently people like feeling so depressed they could have just been forced to do a Twilight marathon (That would make anyone feel miserable). There's no ray of sunshine or silver lining here, but that's not always a bad thing. They're interesting. It can't be denied. Their music is stripped back and sparse, often with a strange hypnotic quality which is rarely sustained throughout the song. I like Ian Curtis' singing voice and the music is often interesting. I can't say I'm a Joy Division fan at the end of the day. They're a talented band, but it's all a bit too depressing, self-indulgent and repetitive for me. They're good, but not that good.

ALBUMS:

Normally this post would have been an album ranking. However, they only did 2 albums so there's no point making a separate post.

2. Closer: A series of 5 minute epics of depression. It has its moments but when you listen to all 9 songs together it really does become a bit maddening after a while. It shows the band being more adventurous than they were in Unknown Pleasures, but also it doesn't have as many classic Joy Division tracks. I see it as the lesser of the 2, though not by much.

1. Unknown Pleasures: Not an album I like massively, but even if you don't like something that doesn't mean it's bad. It's well played, well sung and has plenty of good moments. It's less self-indulgent than Closer. Still, all my usual problems with Joy Division apply here. The album cover is pretty good though, and at just under 40 minutes it's refreshingly short.

SONGS:

So, all Joy Division songs (I think, or at least most of them) ranked from worst to best. This is a pretty rough ranking, as ranking songs can be quite hard. Pay more attention to the categories rather than the numbers. Also, some of the time the list is interchangeable since to me most Joy Division songs sound exactly the same. Enjoy.

THE WEAK:

50. Autosuggestion: No Joy Division song has received a lower score than 5. They've always got something which prevents them from being actively bad. This is the closest Joy Division song to bad. This is 6 minutes long, it's about as exciting as watching a snail slide from one end of the garden to the other and fails to connect even remotely. It's not even interesting enough to be depressing.

49. Passover: The worst track of either of Joy Division's studio albums. A flat, distant and repetitive track that'll have you nodding off pretty quickly.

48. The Drawback: I may always be moaning about Joy Division's repetitive and miserable instrumentals, but at least they've got some personality. That is more than can be said for this fast, basic, painfully ordinary tune which doesn't even last 2 minutes.

47. Gutz: More generic gibberish. This was on the planned debut album, Warsaw, but the album was scrapped and Unknown Pleasures was released instead. Judging by the 2 tracks I've discussed so far alone, it's not hard to see why.

46. You're No Good For Me: Yet another one? I'd rather listen to all the depressing stuff that came later than this blandness.

45. Insight: This track is easily the worst on Unknown Pleasures. What does it actually do? Nothing. Here, Joy Division just phone it in.

44. Komakino: The tiniest bit better, but still pretty weak. The title seems unusual and interesting but it doesn't translate to the song.

THE AVERAGE AND GENERIC:

43. Ceremony: The music drowns out the lyrics here, which slightly spoils the song. It just gets a half-hearted shrug.

42. I Remember Nothing: The bloated, over-extended if slightly effective finale to Unknown Pleasures which sums up my reaction with its title.

41. (Living in the) Ice Age: There's a hint of enjoyment here, but the song is artlessly constructed and repetitive.

40. At a Later Date: Generic, depressing Joy Division song no. 1.

39. Warsaw: Generic, depressing Joy Division song no. 2.

38. Interzone: Generic, depressing Joy Division song no. 5.

37. The Sound of Music: Generic, depressing Joy Division song no. 10.

36. From Safety to Where: Generic, depressing Joy Division song no. 20.

35. Leaders of Men: Generic, depressing Joy Division song no. 25.

34. Candidate: Generic, depressing Joy Division song no. 50.

33. Means to an End: Generic, depressing Joy Division song no. 100.

32. Incubation: Generic, depressing Joy Division song no. I've lost count.

31. Glass: Generic, depressing Joy Division song no. Oh for crying out loud is this some sort of joke?

30. Atmosphere: OK enough of that running gag now. This one manages to sound both lively and asleep at the same time. It's not a great one but the instrumental doesn't sound quite as depressed as usual.

THE ALRIGHT:

29. As You Said: A 2 minute instrumental. Quite catchy.

28. Failures: Fairly bland heaviness, but mildly diverting.

27. Inside the Line: Another generic and flat early track, but this one has some good ideas.

26. No Love Lost: This starts out well and it's a shame it wasn't just an instrumental. As the lyrics begin I zone out.

25. Dead Souls: The instrumental of this one is heavy and less restrained that it sometimes is. This one's a bit more enjoyable than many of Joy Division's songs, but it still fails to stand out among an overstuffed field of indistinguishable songs.

24. Twenty Four Hours: The lyrics aren't that great but it gives us an enjoyable tune so to be honest, I'm perfectly content with that.

23. Colony: This one's fine. It's not that memorable or anything but it's not a bad listen and it hits various entertaining peaks.

THE GOOD:

22. The Kill: Unsubtle and chaotic, yet also speedy and entertaining, this relentless burst of heavy guitar chords is a snappy burst of energy in a depressed discography.

21. These Days: A layered, interesting baseline elevates this well mixed song so that we can forget about the fact that it's not about anything interesting.

20. In a Lonely Place: While the lyrics are hard to hear, this song does what it set out to accomplish and makes you feel like you're in a lonely place in a rather impressive manner.

19. Wilderness: Refreshingly brief and actually enjoyable to listen to, this doesn't make much of an impact but it's a good listen and has a few interesting lines in there as well.

18. Novelty: For once it's not full of pretentious, abstract and depressing imagery and actually carries a human message.

17. Atrocity Exhibition: Chaotic and overlong, yet pleasingly experimental, audacious and filled with interesting sounds. It's a mess, but it's a good mess.

16. She's Lost Control: One of the highlights of Unknown Pleasures, this quiet, haunting and intelligently subtle track isn't very enjoyable but it gets under your skin. There's a 12" version, but it isn't worth bothering with so stick to this one.

15. The Eternal: This one's quiet, it's flat and it barely changes throughout, but there's something about it. It's curiously hypnotic and manages to pull you in. Unlike many penultimate tracks on albums, this one is actually alright.

14. Something Must Break: Punchy and full of interesting imagery, this is a good one. A lot of Joy Division's better songs aren't actually on their 2 studio albums, so if you're a Joy Division fan don't forget to check out the compilations.

13. Sister Ray: A cover of the madness that was The Velvet Underground's Sister Ray, this isn't as good as the original or as wonderfully insane. It is a good cover though, with enough instrumental skill to raise the spirit of the original and they had the sense to make it 10 minutes shorter.

12. Isolation: One of the best tracks on Closer, this has a good tune and manages not to outstay it's welcome. It still isn't something I'd particularly want to listen to if I wasn't doing a review though.

11. New Dawn Fades: This one takes its time to get going, but it builds up to a memorable crescendo and is less off-putting than many of the songs on Unknown Pleasures. Ian Curtis' vocals work particularly well here. I won't lie though. I prefer the Moby version.

THE TOP TEN:

10. Disorder: The opening track on Unknown Pleasures, this one is definitely one of Joy Division's best songs. It's not perfect, since it feels rather caged in and the lyrics are somewhat unimaginative, but the pulsing, well-constructed repetitive baseline and haunting instrumental make this an interesting listen. The first Joy Division song I ever heard, this was quite a good introduction to them.

9. Walked in Line: This one has an interesting concept which could easily be constructed into a longer narrative, and the instrumental is an appealing mixture of Joy Division's typical sounds and a more familiar rock baseline. Overall, depression done with art.

8. Digital: Perhaps the closest Joy Division ever came to doing a straight, conventional rock song.  Digital is effective and strangely mesmerising with its beat, and in terms of Joy Division songs it's one of the most enjoyable.

7. The Only Mistake: A tsunami of brilliantly constructed gloom enhanced by a great beat and superb build-up, this is completely overwhelming, but in the best sense of the word. Not perfect, but this definitely should not be forgotten among Joy Division's discography.

6. Decades: For me, this is what all of Closer needed to be. An effective evocation of gloom that doesn't just depress without rewarding you, that is entertaining and most crucially makes you feel something other than annoyed. Closer wasn't an entirely successful album, but it saved the best for last.

5. Shadowplay: A popular song from Unknown Pleasures, this mixes effective, intelligently minimalistic lyrics with an effective tune that has the right level of restraint to craft an atmospheric, powerful journey into Shadowplay's dark, nightmarish and beautifully bleak world.

4. Day of the Lords: Here it is: my favourite Joy Division album track. Haunting, intelligently depressing and brilliantly chilling, this never releases you from its icy grip and represents Joy Division at their best.

3. Exercise One: The effect of this one is like fingernails screeching down a blackboard, but in the best possible way. This one is genuinely quite terrifying, and it's more nightmarish than a Edgar Allan Poe short story and seems to freeze the entire room when played. Criminally underrated.

2. Transmission: Building up to a wonderful crescendo, excellently played and lyrically terrifying, this is certainly one of the best songs Joy Division ever did. It's their usual tropes- depressing, abstract lyrics, sparse instrumentals, pulsing baselines, haunting sounds- turned up to 11 and turned into a thoroughly effective whole.

1. Love Will Tear Us Apart: It's rare for me to put an artist's signature song at number one, but it's justified here. Love Will Tear Us Apart is what I always wished Joy Division's songs would be: an intelligent fusion of art and entertainment, which other tracks didn't achieve at all. This song, one of Joy Division's most successful, is a simultaneously catchy and haunting, and crafts a compelling, chilling, brutally powerful nightmare rooted in humanity and enhanced with the best instrumental Joy Division ever did. Any song which makes feeling depressed enjoyable certainly deserves high marks.

Thanks for reading!

The Times They Are a-Changin' review

Bob Dylan's third album. His first to contain entirely original work, this will no doubt mean another round of Dylan giving society the finger in the most wonderful way imaginable.

Tracks:

1. The Times They Are a-Changin': 8/10 it's less poetic than many of Dylan's songs, but this song has clever lines and an enjoyable instrumental to spare, and sends the message it set out to convey successfully.

2. Ballad of Hollis Brown: 9/10 who knew a stark, acoustic guitar ballad could be so intense? Certainly not a feel-good song, but it's Dylan at his most brutally effective.

3. With God on Our Side: 9/10 this brilliantly structured song may be 7 minutes long, but only gets better as it progresses.

4. One Too Many Mornings: 6/10 quietly powerful, but a bit too quiet and short to be anything more than a brief diversion.

5. North Country Blues: 7/10 this undeniably skilled song doesn't quite manage to walk the tightrope between 'Powerful' and 'Utterly, soul crushingly depressing'.

6. Only a Pawn in Their Game: 8/10 while occasionally confusing, this examines 2 sides of an argument in a brilliantly balanced and powerful way.

7. Boots of Spanish Leather: 7/10 a fairly straightforward but nice romantic tune.

8. When the Ship Comes in: 8/10 while it often feels like Bob Dylan's entry into a competition for 'How many storm metaphors can you cram into one song?', I like it and it's a fine poetic piece.

9. The Lonesome Death of Hattie Carroll: 8/10 it's still Joy Division levels of depressing, but this time it works well and tells a real-life story in a truly thought-provoking way.

10. Restless Farewell: 6/10 I don't really get this one. It just sort of drifts aimlessly through an overlong runtime but it's not too bad.

Best song: With God on Our Side
Worst song: One Too Many Mornings

Summary: This isn't Bob Dylan at his absolute best. Some of the songs, especially tracks 2 and 3, are excellent and it's another showcase of his writing talent. The truth is, this isn't as enjoyable as some of Dylan's other albums. It's too depressing for its own good and at times gets completely soul crushing. It's well written and the instrumentals are enjoyable. While the songs aren't as poetic and inventive as some of Dylan's other stuff, they're always interesting. In fact, this is a very good album technically, but it's not Dylan's most enjoyable.



Final rating: 8/10