The Velvet Underground are an interesting band. They are also deeply flawed. Each album feels like an experiment, not a proper release and they rarely manage to rein themselves in both in terms of their screeching, overwhelming instrumentals and their refusal to care remotely about the enjoyment levels of their songs. However, they serve as a classic example of "Be careful what you wish for". After all, in Loaded they went more commercial and that didn't really work. Like many artists, they managed to change for each album. Their first album was a kaleidoscope of insanity, their second focused on loud, improvised, avant-garde rock instrumentals, their third was a quieter, more sober piece and their fourth was a commercial record occasionally bordering on pop. As for the fifth one, in many ways that isn't really a VU album. Whether you like them or not, you can't help but respect them for their endless innovation, intelligent experimentation and haunting, boundary-smashing, nihilistic and powerful music. I may not be the biggest fan of the band, but I have plenty of respect for them and understand all the love for them. Their music isn't my sort of thing, but it still represents surreal, musical art that compares gloriously to watching a David Lynch or Luis Bunuel and having no idea what is going on.
Ranking the songs:
The bad:
72. Lonesome Cowboy Bill: The worst Velvet Underground tune is kind of embarrassing to be honest. As if the flat, repetitive, only vaguely VU-like instrumental wasn't bad enough, this song seemingly represents The Velvet Underground chickening out, losing their identity and turning in a pretty terrible nursery rhyme featuring an extremely uninteresting cowboy. Hopefully he'll ride off into the sunset and we'll never have to hear from him again.
71. Dopey Joe: Talk about unimaginative. It's pretty embarrassing when a song by one of America's most acclaimed rock bands has less charisma than a rotting, bird dropping-covered plank of wood. Since I feel the same about most of the songs on Squeeze, the placement of its songs is mostly interchangeable.
70. Send No Letters: Most of the songs on Squeeze are the same. They're perfectly pleasant and they're not that painful to listen to, but they're just so boring and uninspired.
69. Crash: This is a harmless little piano track, but that's the problem. The Velvet Underground do not do babyish, cowardly songs like this! They make challenging, controversial and twisted music.
68. Mean Old Man: This might be catchy, but that doesn't make it good. Definitely one of the weakest tracks on a pretty weak album, although like the album not as intolerable as you may believe.
The mediocre:
67. Caroline: This one is reasonably catchy, although it's got little in the way of strength or power.
66. Jack and Jane: This one's completely harmless, and certainly not one of the worst songs on Squeeze. It's still pretty mediocre though.
65. Louise: This one's far too long and lacks charisma, but nevertheless offers up a mildly catchy piano beat.
64. Head Held High: The message is nice, but Lou Reed shouts his way through this overdone track which is one of the moments on Loaded where the band come dangerously close to totally losing their identity.
63. She'll Make You Cry: Underwhelming again, but in fairness possibly more compared for the stuff from the first 4 albums than as a song on its own.
62. Wordless: It's still deeply flawed, but this at least has a bit more effort in it.
61. Little Jack: Squeeze's first track lets us know what to expect from the album. This is a perfectly nice track. Some even remote kind of sophistication would have been much appreciated.
60. She's My Best Friend: This one isn't an album track and only appeared on a compilation. It's not hard to see why, as it offers a good baseline and little else.
59. I'm Gonna Move Right in: Another non-album track. This one is a very average instrumental.
58. Run Run Run: The worst track on The Velvet Underground's legendary debut, this one takes their habit of doing a good baseline to death and not bothering to explain what the song's even about to maddening levels.
57. Here She Comes Now: This has a pleasingly atmospheric baseline, but in such an insane album something so simple feels completely out of place, and repeating a line a few times isn't clever and arty; it's just lazy.
56. Miss Joanie Lee: You'd better bring the painkillers, for this 11 minute song will give you a headache and doesn't have the lyrical skill to justify being so overlong. That being said, you'll still respect it and it's automatically impressive since very few other bands would try anything like it.
The perfectly alright:
55. Friends: The best track on Squeeze is still far from memorable, but it actually makes you feel something and is perfectly pleasant.
54. Jesus: This one is a nice, chilled song which you can just zone out during. Focus on the nice music and try not to focus on this being the least interesting song of The Velvet Underground (Album) which literally, with only one repeated verse, has little to say.
53. Little Sister: This one has Nico's brilliant vocals and some pleasant lyrics. Unfortunately, neither element is backed up with a decent instrumental and you might find yourself zoning out during this one.
52. Some Kinda Love: One of those songs where, if you removed it from the album, no-one would notice as it's mainly just filler. That being said, it's far from bad.
51. We're Gonna Have a Real Good Time Together: For once, a relatively fun song from The Velvet Underground. However, it does push minimalism at least a mile past its breaking point.
50. After Hours: This one is a little too low key, and this is an anticlimactic end to the album. Still, as anticlimaxes go, it ain't half bad.
49. Temptation Inside Your Heart: This one offers the usual artiness the band always does, but it's too repetitive to satisfy.
48. Stephanie Says: This one is well-written and quietly haunting. Far, far too quietly to be precise. In the end, this is too muffled to truly work.
47. Train Round the Bend: A train's coming around a bend. And? Still, even if this song is pretty meaningless, the instrumentals are good and it at least sounds more like the band's earlier work.
46. Guess I'm Falling in Love: A band as dark and nihilistic as The Velvet Underground doing a love song was always going to be strange. They pull it off to some extent. You'll never remotely believe the narrator of the song is in love, but the instrumental, like always, rocks.
45. Lisa Says: Like often with this band: excellent music, terrible writing.
44. The Black Angel's Death Song: Probably the closest thing the band ever did to a hip-hop song. Lou Reed speed talks, the song is very short and feels rushed, yet they still manage to milk some cool guitar sounds and interesting lyrics out of it.
The good:
43. Who Loves the Sun: Although this shows the band succumbing to commercialism, this nevertheless offers an atmospheric vibe and some cool imagery.
42. Ferryboat Bill: This one is hilariously minimalist and adequately enjoyable, although it's difficult to take seriously.
41. Coney Island Steeplechase: Another fun, relatively silly one. Interestingly, this song is about somewhere I've actually been.
40. I Love You: This one manages to be both overdone (The vocals, parts of the instrumental) and underdone (The lyrics). It's still a successful song though despite its flaws, and on the whole an enjoyable track.
39. That's the Story of My Life: This one uses minimalism intelligently. It still feels pretty slight, but then again that was probably the point.
38. One of These Days: The ideas in this song don't quite come together and the Pink Floyd song of the same name is better, It's still enjoyable and atmospheric though.
37. New Age: It's difficult to work out exactly what this one's about (Something to do with fame?) but it's still absolutely solid and manages to get the mixture of commercialism and art just right.
36. I'm Beginning to See the Light: The way the title is repeated so much is kind of annoying, but other than that this is agreeable avant-garde fun.
35. Foggy Notion: It may be self-indulgent, weird, arty and utterly bonkers but who cares? Embrace the madness.
34. Ocean: This offers loads of fascinating poetry and does stir emotions, although as a song it's muted and slow-paced.
33. I'm Sticking With You: The band being less avant-garde isn't always a bad thing. This one, although it lacks memorability, is a genuinely enjoyable song and a somewhat obscure VU track that's worth seeking out.
32. I Found a Reason: Thanks to a sluggish pace, at times it feels like someone slowly struggling through a thick puddle of mud. Other that that, this is rock solid and boasts excellent harmonies and a pleasingly uplifting tone.
31. Winter Song: Yet another overly quiet one. However, Nico's vocals speak louder than a heavy metal guitar riff and with some great writing to back her up, this is worthwhile song without a doubt.
30. The Murder Mystery: A nonsensical, crazy, twisted mystery wrapped up in a riddle locked inside an enigma with several secure padlocks. What this song means is a mystery no-one except the band will ever work out, but as for what it is... this is a delightfully weird and unconventional, and stunningly audacious work. It's bonkers, but kind of awesome.
29. Wrap Your Troubles in Dreams: It doesn't half ramble on, but it's got some great writing and plenty of atmosphere.
28. I'm Set Free: If it's a bit too long, it certainly captures the dreamy, quietly stirring and weird vibe running through the whole of the group's third album.
27. Hey Mr Rain: Naff as a piece of writing, excellent as a piece of music.
26. Lady Godiva's Operation: Not necessarily a song to enjoy; more one to overwhelm, hypnotise freak you out and leave you wondering what just went down.
25. I Heard Her Call My Name: Same again. White Light/White Heat certainly isn't your average rock album.
24. Sweet Jane: It's a shame that this is the main song by the band to get commercial radioplay, since it lacks the punch of the more experimental stuff. While it stands as one of the band's more overrated tracks, that certainly doesn't make it bad. As a song, it's catchy, entertaining and still retains the arty edge of the band's first 3 albums.
23. I'll Be Your Mirror: One of the Nico songs on the band's first albums. This one is one of the weaker musical pieces on the albums, but works excellently in terms of lyrics and vocals.
22. Cool it Down: I'm not a huge fan of Loaded, but this is definitely one of its better songs even if it feels repetitive. If anything, this is one of the album's best mixes of artistic and commercial music.
21. European Son: The final track on the band's first album starts out with a fairly annoying lyrical bit. The improvised avant garde instrumental that follows is so much better and concludes the album in style.
20. White Light/White Heat: A chaotic song full of nutty instrumental moments and meaningless lyrics. It is certainly a self-indulgent work, but ultimately works reasonably well and as songs which sound like 50 violins screeching and breaking go, this really isn't too bad at all. It may require a couple of listens though, and don't listen to it if you have a headache.
19. Femme Fatale: Like most of the debut this feels caged-in but that's part of the avant-garde personality of the album and it's something you just need to go with after a while. Nico as always does a great job and the nihilistic, controversial subject matter in the band's songs is always entertaining to hear.
18. Venus in Furs: One of the most out-there tracks on the debut, this shatters boundaries and pulls listeners into a hypnotic, fascinating and crazy 50 Shades of Grey style dream. A song as repetitive and indulgent as it is terrifying, if you start with the first album like I did this is the moment where the band reveals what they're really about. Say goodbye to conventions.
17. Pale Blue Eyes: A gentle, melancholy and quietly moving song. Although it's a bit underwhelming compared to some of the louder ones it's still reasonably easy to explain this song's popularity among the band's discography. This is also an accessible one, and an easy song to get into for those not used to the band.
16. Oh! Sweet Nuthin': The more commercial sound of Loaded works very well here in this 7 minute finale. It goes on a bit, but it is ultimately quite catchy and moving and it feels like the kind of quality many of the album's tracks were trying to achieve. Loaded is the weakest of the four main albums but it boasts the second best concluding track in the band's discography.
The very good:
15. Andy's Chest: A lyrically brilliant and hugely interesting song, this one is very entertaining and pleasingly laid-back. It's got an interesting backstory as well. In fact, a lot of really good Velvet Underground songs are in the compilations rather than the studio albums, so both VU and Another View are worth seeking out.
14. Candy Says: A pretty quiet song, yet it's one of the best on the album. This one boasts brilliant lyrics and a nuanced instrumental, allowing it to be a power smack-down of the song without resorting to loud improvised instrumentals and over the top weirdness. Overall, the second greatest song on the band's 3rd album.
13. I Can't Stand it: An unexpectedly catchy and absorbing song, this is yet another excellent track which never made it onto one of the studio albums. This one brims with pathos and atmosphere and it's overall an affecting song as well as being as dark as ever. In some ways this is a slightly more commercial-sounding one, but it still rocks.
12. Chelsea Girls: This one really grabs you by the throat. It's another Nico song and a particuarly good one. Although it's a long one, the minutes fly by far too quickly. It's a wonderful and atmospheric song that allows you to slowly be overwhelmed and stunned by both Nico's delivery and the haunting instruments that kick in throughout the song.
11. It Was a Pleasure Then: Another nuanced Nico song where the instruments are used in a more minimalist manner. Don't let that fool you though. This really is an intense crescendo of a song that plays like a slow yet breathtakingly powerful volcanic eruption as Nico's vocals peak and the instruments kick in towards the end. Mind blowing stuff.
The top ten:
10. All Tomorrow's Parties: A sobering, haunting and highly depressing song from The Velvet Underground and Nico. It's certainly not cheerful stuff, but it highlights the band's ability to create mood, atmosphere and pathos with merely vocals and a stripped-down, avant-garde instrumental.This is unquestionably a highlight from their debut album. It's also the best track the band did with Nico on lead vocals.
9. What Goes On: This is what all of Loaded should have been. It's very much an avant-garde track. It boasts weird, repetitive lyrics and the instrumental still doesn't sound like anything else from the time period. However, it's also a very enjoyable and catchy rock song in its own right, and it gets the right balance of commercial and artistic music. The best track on the band's 3rd album without a doubt and one of their most enjoyable songs.
8. Rock and Roll: A fabulous tribute to the genre of rock music. This one tells a compelling story and finds a hugely enjoyable commercial sound. It's definitely the best track on Loaded and is a Velvet Underground song which may be heard on radio stations a bit more. It may not accurately represent the band and what they normally do, but it certainly packs a punch as a song. This is one the band got absolutely right.
7. The Gift: Some might wonder whether or not this should actually be called a song. Anyway, I think it's awesome. A short story read out over a typically nutty VU instrumental is an interesting idea that could have gone badly wrong. The skill of the music is undeniable, but everything rides on the short story here. Fortunately Lou Reed wrote a fabulous and gleefully unpredictable horror story that makes this, while not even being a proper song, the second best track on the album.
6. I'm Waiting For the Man: It's very difficult not to put this one high up. Sure, the lyrics basically just tell a mundane story about a drug deal, but in fairness there are deeper lyrics scattered around. This song is just so catchy. This has arguably the best instrumental the band ever did and despite The Velvet Underground not being a band full of songs you listen to repeatedly, this one is very easy to listen to. You always just want to relish that incredible beat one more time.
5. There She Goes Again: The first album really was their best, and this is yet more proof. This is a pretty sad and bleak song, but it's depressing without being soul crushing. It's still a highly enjoyable song to listen to and interpret with some excellent guitar work and this one is an unquestionable high point of the album. It's a very gripping and engaging song and it's one that boasts a real personality of its own. Overall, this is avant-garde music done with skill and in style.
4. Ride into the Sun: Easily the best of the non-album tracks. The Velvet Underground can rarely be called relaxing, but this song certainly fits that description. With a mellow, melancholy and rather wonderful instrumental and some great lyrics, this veers firmly away from the nihilism that characterizes the band and into more gentle, less depressing territory. Amazingly, this deviation from the band's normal themes pays off brilliantly and the result is a lovely song that'll give you the feels.
3. Heroin: This song sums up The Velvet Underground perfectly. Haunting atmosphere? Check. Controversial subject matter? Check. Unique sound? Check. Blisteringly intense avant-garde instrumental? Check. Mad lyrics. Check. It's everything the band does well (When they're on form anyway) all contained in one intense, crazy and slightly brilliant song. It might be the most experimental on the album, it's not massively catchy and it lacks coherence. Thus, it is not a commercial song at all. It is a piece of art to be appreciated and to feel haunted by. On those fronts, it is unquestionably an excellent song.
2. Sunday Morning: The debut started with its best song. This beautiful, haunting and just plain awesome song is the most enjoyable and stirring track on the album while also defying convention and being like no other songs from the era. This was the first VU song I ever heard and it was a brilliant introduction. I still don't understand why it wasn't called Monday Morning instead since it is about waking up depressed in the morning though. Still, this quiet song speaks extremely loudly and will give you chills like no other Velvet Underground song will.
1. Sister Ray: I never doubted this would be number 1. As far as I'm concerned, it's definitely the band's greatest achievement, or at the very least their most heart-stoppingly insane. A 17 minute rock epic with some very confusing lyrics that sounds like a hurricane tearing a city apart should never have worked. But then again, many great things should have been terrible but in the right hands they'll always find a way. This is an extremely intense song, but it's also incredibly entertaining and genuinely jaw-dropping, while it also boasts some of the band's best writing. It is quite simply a terrific song and a great example of a band breaking every boundary there is to break. This one really is quite something, and definitely my favorite Velvet Underground song. Any new-time listeners only need to give this a listen and they'll understand why the band are so important straight away.
Thanks for reading!
